april.

oh dear. it's april already... this time last year i was putting in my APA forms... today we are gearing up for our final presentations. it's going to be a dreadful day--- movement, dance, acrobatics all examined (those three hopefully not in the same AM/PM session)... scenework AND acting on the same day... i can do it! we can do it!!

okay. time for a mental check.

* it's a month & a bit before the final exam
* there's shit loads to learn and do... stretching... dancing... focusing...
* doing good on acting so far, but can't get complacent--- must remember what happens when i'm in "the zone"
* shouldn't lose confidence or self-esteem either
* keep improving in stage movement
* enjoy the company of family & friends
* balance work & play
* enjoy dance lessons!!!!!!
* make the most of dip 1.

!a good week!

dance!!! dance!!!!
afl!! nrl!!!!
new shoes!!! new shoes!!!!!!!!
happy!!! happy!!!!

i haven't blogged at all this week and i had a pretty good week, acting wise... i got to couple up this week with don in an improv, and having "rain" himself to act as the father of my imaginary child isn't too bad, heh?

i'm learning slowly the way to get the best out of myself: be relaxed but to channel my energy towards being focused towards the task... sounds cryptic? that's because i know floppy days might return at any time, so i'm going to enjoy the little window of confidence that i have now. perhaps the most important thing i've learned in the past two weeks is how to bounce back from floppy days- to get over it and bring it.

apa life...

i've seen a guy who i thought is the HKPO's concertmaster since my ASM days. i've always wanted to ask him whether he's the HKPO's concertmaster but didn't want to bother him when he's eating at our lovely canteen with his lovely kids. i saw him in the lift today on our way to voice. he was on his way to class. i had a little bit of courage. i asked him whether he is HKPO's concertmaster. he answered affirmatively. lovely. thank you. on my way out from school, he was again in the lift. "i see you when i get here and i see you when i leave!" says he. "hahaha..." says me.

now that i've thought about it, what the bloody hell does it matter if he's or if he's not HKPO's concertmaster? ah well, it doesn't matter really... i just wanted to ask :)

thank you piscesmung for listening to my brat-ish whinging. i really do appreciate your patience.

am i a geek or what?

piscesmung asked me for the music playlist that jamie uses for our dance class and i can name every single song...

yes, i am a music geek.

but it's not my fault that she's used: big big world/the bongo song/ where is the love/ fallin'/ these words are my own/ crazy in love/ let's get loud &&& fame //// as our warm up songs!?@--- all of which exist on my musical vocabulary anyway... go dancing!!!! two weeks to go until the CCDC dance course starts... i'd go alone anyway, but it's even better that i have company: i can't wait to start dancing with my two mates dorothy and ah yee.

i want my room painted purple!

光仔光仔光仔... aii....

光仔, oh 光仔, or mr. 光... i feel so sorry for you--- what you have is ten million times worse than tutoring at university... doesn't help that you're so bloody young---feels like 14 year old newbies leading 15 year old students at TSSE every year... but i'll support you by not speaking unless i'm told to... and hopefully you'll have one less source of noise to deal with...

光仔! i support you!

friday dance madness!!

off jazz dance centre, france

if i'm ever going to france, i'm going to nice to visit this dance centre... okay, not that i can dance with a quarter of ability of people who study there, but it sure looks like a cool place to be.

the front page proclaims: talent is work!
in the words of mr. suk yi: i buy.

so i'm going to work hard in my april-june dance lessons and make myself as well rounded an drama student as i can... before that i have to work even harder to earn myself the tag "actress"... gosh, who would have thought it'd be that hard? i don't even dare call myself an actress yet...

yet another friday, yet another week. yesterday our class got spoken to by senior faculty... actually, spoken to is an understatement, we got a verbal whip-ass to get ourselves back into order. lots of classmates have been missing particular classes lately (e.g. singing, dancing, acrobatics-- the classes that "don't matter") and the teachers don't like that. fridays keep me going, but for some, fridays is a "flop" day... a constant reminder that they have no ear for music and the presence of their two left feet... personally, i don't have a least favourite day, except mr.tang's classes on wednesday and thursday are a little tough on the physical and mental side (ref: bruises and scrapes from last thursday that are still healing)...

mr. lam said yesterday that it takes the four d's to survive in this place: "devotion, discipline, dilligence & determination."

add oil, my friends!

random piccies

a few piccies 1. kiki. and no, that's not her on the ad 2. chun chun, a beautiful classmate with many emotions!

blah...

bedtime chant:

"lee lei le lur la lor low loo luu lee... lee lei le lur la lor low loo luu lee...."

i'll get it right, dammit.

notes.

--> 嬲. will not piss off mr wong this friday... i will not flop because of laziness... will practice the three exercises incessantly... until my parents get annoyed... (lee lei le lur la lor low loo luu lee.... lee lei le lur la lor low loo luu lee...)

--> heard something from mr. tree that i wanted


a few I WILLs

--> i will look after myself and not get sick... ever again... THAT MEANS SLEEPING BEFORE 12 IF NOT WORKING ON HOMEWORK.

--> i will improve my cantonese or else set my sights on getting into a drama degree course back in australia in 2007

--> i will NOT be socially retarded

--> i will be sensitive to the people around me

--> i will recognise that there are other people in the world

some quotes from Respect for Acting by Uta Hagen

By the very nature of our profession we seem to develop slothful rather than
disciplined habits. A great dancer to his last days cannot- and will not- perform without hours of daily practice. The pianist Artur Rubinstein and the violinist Isaac Stern cannot- and will not- play a concert without daily practice. While an actor may be forced to work as a waiter or a typist to susatain himself while waiting for the call to play King Lear, there is no excuse for his frittering away the hours that belong to him- and his true work- with partying, and fun and games.

Every actor must demand total discipline of himself if he really means to be an actor. It can be acquired if it's not already in his bones. A very gifted actor may be surpassed and outrun by a lesser talent simply because he is lazy, buckpassing, superficial- an actor settling for the easiest choices. The less-talented actor can win with a thorough, backbreaking discipline in his work, in his examination of his materials and his relationship to it, in the dedication (that much-abused word) to his work.

...

If I compare myself to a large, meaty, round apple, I discover that my inner and outer cliche image of myself is only a wedge of it- possibly the wedge with the rosy cheek on the skin. But I have to become aware of myself as the total apple- the firm inner flesh as well as the brown rotten spot, the stem, the seeds, the core. All of the apple is me. The more I discover, the more I realize that I have endless sources within myself to put to use in the illumination of endless characters in dramatic literature; that I am compounded of endless human beings depending on the events moving in on me, my surrounding circumstances, relationships with a variety of people, what I want and what's in my way at a given moment: all within the context of my unique identity.

and this is only from the first two chapters...

things you find out on the net

http://www.studentfilms.com/film/view/play.do?id=1935

how time flies! this is a film by my old primary school classmate- ana djordjevic... she's the last person i'd expect to work in film cos she's the quiet, bookish type... very introverted... but watch the film.. it's the type of film that i'd envision her to make. it's funny!


yes, and i feel better today. took it easy. didn't have a good night's sleep at all. i think sometimes you just gotta take your foot off the pedal a little to let your body catch up to everything. in response to yesterday's floppiness i'm working out a little scene from agnes of god with althea in english. we read through the scene in english a few times today and it felt immediately better. sometimes i'm wondering whether i'm taking this up in the wrong country. time will tell, heh.

bring on thursday!

FLOP.

SHIT.
INSECURE AGAIN.

completely full.

i've never eaten so much in two consecutive days in my entire life!

... yum yum...

........

become the change you want to see in the world
- Mahatma Gandhi

lee lei le loe la lor low loo luu lee.
^^ bloody'ell, i'll get this right before friday!!!!!

big week

small post:

mon- master workshop... flop
tue- watched. got some answers...
wed- improv... a little better.... understood
thurs- TGIAF (thank goodness it's almost friday)... flop... literally... all over the ground.... bruises...
fri- TGIF... dance gave me my weekly high, but flopped in singing due to my laziness...
sat- hormone induced emotions begin to flow
sun- open day... HFL's wedding reception... disorganised day...

A BIZARRE & ABSURD WEEK.

argh.

honestly, one can't help but get zits if you've given birth to a person with an iraqi oilfield for a forehead.

bloody'ell.

i have a pain in the arse.

ouch.

亡命飛撲--- version 4

... s & m this ain't... it's stage movement class ... we had to sprint 8 metres and snatch an imaginary flying object on the ground ...

... but this 仆街 exercise makes me 痛到仆街 ...

... mind my french ...

<---- 1. hip 2. knees 3. lower arm 4. hand grazes

i know documenting my injuries is a bit twisted... but then i'm a twisted person, so...

........

today marked the first time in my life that i slapped someone in the face... for real... but don't worry, it was only for an inclass improvisation... thank you ronald for being a gentleman and a good partner...

i'm beginning to understand what it truly means to be in the moment.... you don't think- you just react and be.

respect the art of acting!!!!

questions asked, answers given

i now know why. thank you everyone.

acting is a truly special art. one feels so completely naked and exposed on stage---- you're supposed to understand and know exactly why you appear at a certain moment, but you're supposed to renact that moment as if it were completely spontaneous. i fucked up because i wasn't quite sure what i was supposed to do, even if i thought i was doing what the director asked me to do... i have learnt much.... the experience was surreal. i even felt a bit faint right after the performance and i couldn't get out of the character and her emotions hours after the 10 minute scene... but today helped... i'll work hard for the next stage experience! it was good to have the 12-13 odd dip1 classmates to share the experience with as they were with 'grease'. they didn't have the happiest rehearsal period but they enjoyed their moment on stage, which is the whole point of performance anyway, isn't it?

踩台板... what a first time... marlene, karin and petra, y'all will be in my heart forever, yo.

time for regular proceedings... i'm going to be a busy bee for open day- dancing with chun chun's group... man! chun chun! how can you be so completely cool and not know it? rehearsed with the apa jazz band tonight... brought me back to the fun times back at QWAB and Sinfonia, chatting and messing around with the other musos... dearly hope i won't fuck up the latin beats & 2xsolos on sunday... or randomly lose a stick... i think i'm due for some practice before the big day. discovered what it means to play in a rhythm section today... in stage band i felt so alone and entirely disconnected from guitar/piano/bassists but it was really fun exchanging rhythms with the guitarists... testament to true ensemble work they really listen to what the musos play... good to learn from these musos.

marg is in great need of catharsis.

argh.... hate not knowing what to think... i know how i performed in music or sport at the end of the day but not in drama... well, not at least in a "dramatic" performance, as opposed to a "comedy" performance...

help!

... i actually just need some great big bear hugs ...

the alphabet... mental gymnastics

friday... MT day.... happy day...

-------------

h/k/w/p/l/th/s/t/ts/f/m/ng

abcdefg
hijklmn
opq rst
uvwxyz

zyx wvu
tsr qpo
nmlkjih
gfedcba

hours of fun!

8月8日出生的人天生有扮演各種不同角色的強烈慾望，然而，這並不表示他們就是經常變換人生軌道的輕浮人物，事實上，他們所嘗試的每一項改變與扮演的新角色，都經過辛苦的研究，也只有這樣，他們才能獲得成功。
通常，這一天出生的人很希望能在專業上得到他人的認可與讚賞，而大多數人也都能獲得他們所想要的成功，除非他們選擇的職業不切實際或十分不適合他們的個性。
在一系列的改變之後，或回顧他們的一生，人們，甚至是他們自己，都會很訝異地發現到，今天出生者在扮演每一個角色時是多麼投入！但因為他們是講究實際與負責任的人，因此，只會在全力扮演了一個角色或得到滿足後，才會轉移到另一個角色裡。從家庭主婦變成職業婦女的母親、變換公司或職業的父親，以及和不同家人相處時表現出判若兩人的小孩，都是8月8日出生者適應力極佳的證明。他們如果是演員或從事創作的藝術家，將會有十分多樣化的風格與表現方式。

病到無力寫blog

^^^yeah yeah!^^^ marg's weekly drug-free high ^^^

even though i feel markedly better than last weekend, my flu follows a daily ritual

*sore throat in the morning
*mucus... ewww...
*sore throat in the evening
*unstoppable coughing from 10pm sharp....

the nature of studying at the apa is such that you spend all your time away from the school thinking about your classmates, and what you do in class. i can't stop thinking about marlene these few weeks...

i feel like my apa week is spent building up to friday morning dance. omg... i go absolutely mad during dance, but it's ms.jamie's fault for setting our exercises to my favourite music (crazy in love... let's get loud etc etc) and the dances in the style of my favourite choreographers (bobby's school)... can't wait to start my dance lessons in april... it's like the pinnicle of my performing arts fantasy, dancing the stuff we were dancing today...

weeeeeeeee!!!!!

ouch

• throat still hurts )argh(
• bought myself a chinese dictionary to do homework for voice class... still working out how to use the damn thing
• so much shit to do, and so little time to do it in
• rehearsal going well, although mr. tree is going to find out we smoked during rehearsal first thing tomrrow morning...

from jac's blog

好的演員,不是常人

it's time to chuck out the cobwebs and go for it, girl.

improving movement in one week

movement is one of my weakest subjects and yet i have to call on what we learnt in the subject for marlene. how would one's body react to conversation? how would one's body move when one is eavesdropping and alert at everything that's being said?

this bloody sore throat... not even panadol is working... argh...

drugged....

on panadol & related cold and flu drugs...

why??? why now????

but dance was fun... i know i look un-co, but i really do like dance. it gives me one chance every week to dance like gene kelly & carol haney & cyd charrise & ann miller & gwen verdon & everyone from that era. singing was shit because i had no voice to sing with... argh... but hey, friday is always fun.

thank you, both teachers for giving the comments you gave.... twenty one years into my life, i'm finally starting to have a better understanding of myself.

sick... sick... sick again...

yeah, there's a tiny tingle in my throat again--- there's so many people sick in my class anyway that it's probably impossible not to get sick.

had dinner tonight at watami ("war man") with mum... it was good food and good company. i feel that these few months at the APA has made me more in touch with my emotions...

pride & prejudice... what a story! okay, matthew macfayden will never top colin firth as the best darcy ever, but he did a good enough job at it... i was genuinely moved by a lot of the movie... appreciated that the ending is not traditional classic romance cheese-ball crap... lots of highlights... and will keira keightly ever shake off that pout of her's? it's sort of distracting to audiences... nonetheless she did a good job too as lizzie. she's not mature a lizzy as jennifer ehle's, in fact, her lizzie is a completely different person- sort of young, raw, completely headstrong... she is so "alive" and modern that she could be my next door neighbour's daughter. good luck at the oscars, keira.

From Roger Ebert's review:

"Anyone who will sacrifice their own happiness for higher considerations
deserves to be happy. When they realize that about each other their hearts leap,
and, reader, so did mine."